


No Response

by Skeleton_Keyes



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Comfort, Confessions, Depression, Dysphoria, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Trans Michael Mell, drug mention, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21710716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeleton_Keyes/pseuds/Skeleton_Keyes
Summary: A very angsty fic where Jeremy notices his friend has been acting distant lately. Then one night his phone blows up with calls from him, only he misses them. He rushes over to his house..
Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	No Response

“Hey thanks for the ride, see you tomorrow Mikey.” Jeremy gave him a warm smile and a gentle pat on the shoulder before opening the car door and hopping out. 

“Mhm.” 

He walked up to his front door and turned around to watch Michael’s red PT Cruiser back up and drive away. He frowned, standing on his porch just..thinking.

Lately his friend had been distant. He didn’t want to hang out after school like they used to, he wasn’t answering his phone calls, rides home were silent, at school he pretty much never took out his earbuds, he wasn’t doing his classwork anymore, he was failing most of his classes.

Jeremy was trying his best to be there for him, making sure to smile at him and start conversations but nothing he did seemed to work.

“Jere..?” 

Jeremy jumped, snapping out of his trance. He turned around to see his mother in the doorway, wiping her hands on an apron. 

“Oh yeah sorry I was just thinking.” he chuckled to himself and headed inside.

Later that night Jeremy sat in bed, soft music filled his room. His record player sat in the corner gently pouring out the voice of Frank Sinatra. He scribbled in his journal, his brow furrowed. Every few minutes he checked to see if Michael responded to his texts, to no avail.

Eventually Jeremy fell into a groove where he couldn’t stop writing. His thoughts and feelings poured out onto the page in the form of poetry. He didn’t notice his phone lighting up, and he didn’t notice that it was Michael who was calling him.

After about an hour he stopped, letting out a deep breath. He finally felt a little more relaxed now that he had let out his worries.

He picked up his phone and looked at his lock screen. 

“Fuck..” he muttered. 27 notifications from Michael. He quickly unlocked it and listened to his first voicemail from his friend. A weak voice started slurring something.

“Heyyyyy Jerry...hic...so..I think you’re gon need a ride t’morow..” then a beep. He clicked to the next one.  
“Yeah ssso I reeeeaaaly gotta tell you somthin’ call me” then another beep.

“Hey Jere..please call me. I wanna hear your voice”

“Jere bear! Wassup..uhh..I kinda forgot what I wuz gonna say..anyway..uhh call me..”

“Please..before I..I have to tell you something..” there was a quiet sniffling before it ended.

Jeremy slowly lowered his phone into his lap, tears burning his eyes. 

He was shocked. Never in his life has he heard Michael sound so..broken.

He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on himself. He knew what he had to do. He knew that his friend was in danger.

The door creaked open as he poked his head out into the hallway. His parents were asleep, perfect. He rushed down the stairs as quietly as he could, snatched the keys from their hook and bounded out the door. 

He sped down back streets to the small neighborhood where his childhood friend had lived since they were in Elementary school together. He parked on the street and pulled the keys out of the ignition. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, the lights were off, the house was calm.

He hopped out and made his way to the wooden fence at the back of the driveway. He swung the gate open as quietly as he could and tiptoed through the backyard to the back door. It silently opened and he thanked whatever gods there were in his head. He swiftly made his way through the house, not needing to turn the lights on. After all, this was basically his own home.

He heard a faint noise coming from the end of the hallway, Michaels room. He picked up his pace, walking around the creaky spots in the wood floor. 

The door was slightly ajar when he arrived, he pushed it open slowly. “Mikey..?” he whispered. 

No response.

He flipped on the light, not caring if it woke him up, he was worried. Lying on his bed was his friend, passed out drunk. Beside him was an open bottle of vodka, a pill bottle, and his cell phone playing some quiet music. 

“Oh Michael..” his voice caught in his throat, his hand moving to cover his mouth. Advancing slowly, he made his way to the bed. Gently, he sat down next to him and placed a hand on his chest. He let out a sigh of relief. He’s still breathing, thank god.

“Jere..?” Michael’s eyes barely opened. He started shifting trying to sit himself up.

“Hey Mikey, it’s okay, I’m here now.” his hand moved up to his face, cupping his cheek. He didn’t know why he did this, it just felt right. Tears streamed down his face, he attempted to smile at him but it only made him cry harder. “I-It’s okay..” not sure who he was talking to at this point. 

“You..you came. I didn’t.. I wasn’t..” Michael was lost for words, his mind hazy. “I need to tell you something.” he said softly, pushing away the hand holding his face.

“Anything Mikey, I’ll always listen.” Jeremy sniffled, scooting himself a little closer.

“I..I was planning on killing myself..and I called to tell you that I’m in love with you and I’ve been in love with you for a long time.” Michael fidgeted with his sleeves as he spoke, he couldn’t bear to look at him. His words were soft but with purpose.

Jeremy studied his face carefully, his smile falling. 

“Yeah I um..My dysphoria was killing me.” he continued “And it was killing me to know you’d never be with someone like me because..well I’m a girl, basically.” his voice got quieter as he continued to talk.

“I’m sorry I-” Michael started to speak again but was cut off by his friend pulling him into a tight embrace. 

“Sh-shut up..just..stop.” he started to sob, squeezing him tightly. Once he started calming down he pulled himself away and looked Michael in his eyes, gripping his shoulders tightly.

“Michael..I love you. I love you so fucking much, and nothing could ever change that. You’re not a girl, you never have been, I’ve always known that. In fact you’re the most man I’ve ever seen in a person. No one could ever compare to you, and I don’t want to be with anyone except you. I’m sorry..I’m so fucking sorry I ever made you think that way..I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, and I need you to know that I’m here for you always. We’re going to get you some help okay? It’s all gonna be okay, I promise you.” he started crying once more, his body shaking as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead into Michael’s chest.

“Jeremy..I..thank you..” he wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back. “And you don’t have to be sorry, this isn’t your fault. I’m going to talk to my mom tomorrow. But please don’t blame this on yourself.” he pressed a soft kiss on the top of his head, tears burning the back of his eyes.

Soon they were both crying, holding each other and crying.


End file.
